Are You Desperate For God?
by Damainion Ewell
The man you loved more than you could ever love yourself decides enough is enough and walks. The woman that you longed for moment after moment becomes feint at heart and breaks yours into a million pieces. The job that you poured your soul and sweat into becomes bankrupt and your world is instantaneously reduced to rubble. The things in life that you thought you needed the most are gone. Your eyesight sees oblivion, and every pulse in your body brings forth a thud of frustration and disenchantment. Every step forward seems like a step backward, and every muscle in your face throbs from attempting a smile. Where is there to go?
It is 2:30 in the morning, and the phone rings. Your heart begins to race at an unprecedented rate of speed because your loved one never made it home. You pray that the voice on the other end of the line is that of your soul mate. You say hello, and to your dismay, you do not recognize the voice. This unknown person delivers the sorrowful news that the one who you swore would die in your arms has died alone. You drop the phone in a state of panic, and suddenly, everything turns black as you collapse in a heap of despair and misery. Nothing that life has ever brought your way has prepared you for the inescapable certainty of losing the one that you have given your soul to. What is there to do?
Your trek through life feels as if you are walking through broken glass with bare feet. Your eyes cry until the saltiness of your tears turns into the blood shot gateway to your broken spirit. You scream until no one can hear you, and you shout while no one comes to your rescue. Your faith has become mere belief, and your beliefs slowly drown in a pool of distrust and skepticism. Where are you? The mirror image of the person who was vivacious and alive no longer exists. Outwardly, you are the immaculate reflection of a person full of endless possibilities. Inwardly, you are the flawed manifestation of the cruelties of this world. Who can you run to?
It is possible to know where you came from and not have a clue as to where you are going. You can grow up and be nurtured with certain principles, only to find out that every idea you were ever fed was a lie. Genealogy aside, you can know the people who are connected to you by DNA, but be treated as coldly as a stranger. While blood can be thick, estrangement from every person and thing you ever knew can turn into a diluted version of who you were designed to be. You were told “I will never leave you,” yet you were left in a cloud of dust and propaganda. However, there is someone who has never taken a step in front or behind you.
It is possible to plant your flag at the top of the mountain one moment, and the rope that is holding you up there snap the next. What is there to break your fall once that rope breaks? At the bottom of that mountain are jagged edges, sharp rocks, solid concrete and maybe a cactus for good measure. There is no cushion to soften your landing when you fall. There is not a body of water to fall into or a safety net to catch you. While climbing that mountain, you had all the right equipment. You put on the big mountain boots in anticipation of stepping on rocks that you could throw your life off balance. You used the pulley to elevate yourself higher and higher. You wore a helmet to protect your head from the sniping chatter that was surely coming your way. You wore a backpack full of endless potential and glasses to protect your eyes from seeing the obvious. You even wore a headlamp to see your way even more clearly as you ascended to the top. But, none of it worked, and the rope that held everything together still broke, one fiber after another. The end is sure to come as your entire being descends to the floor below. However, there is someone that is a sure foundation and a soft landing in the midst of a fall.
There is nowhere to go. There is nothing that your own power can accomplish. There is nowhere to run, and no cubbyhole to hide in. You are right there, with no wiggle room, trapped by walls of hurt and desolation. One final teardrop runs down your cheek, and it sends an S.O.S.! That tiny drop of water sounds the alarm, and a 911 call to Heaven is initiated. That teardrop is desperation. The façade must be torn down, and the outward image must be cast away. The LORD GOD has received the call that your last tear has made, and He has cornered you. He has ambushed your emotions, and He has blocked your ability to run, hide, or seek any other means of gratification.
You cannot run from the LORD…He is your very present help in the time of trouble. You cannot hide from the LORD…He is your hiding place from the wind and the shelter of your weary soul. Jesus Christ is your sanctuary, your refuge in the day of affliction, and a strong tower in the days of your weakness. He is undefeated, undisputed and undeniable. You cannot resist Him and you cannot wash Him off of your hands. He engulfs your mind and makes it His own. He invades your personal space and washes away the decay in the power of His precious blood. No power can stop Him, and no distance can outlast Him. He is the race that you are running, and at the finish line awaits the power of His anointing and the wholesomeness of His love. He is the journey, and at the end of your travels are the riches of His glory and the innocence of His presence.
Are you desperate for Him? Are you desperately anticipating the final outcome of what lies ahead? Do you need Him? Do you want Him? What are you willing to give up in order to have Him? How far are your arms willing to stretch to touch the hem of His garment? How long will your legs toddle from one dead end to the next in order to reach the end of the road? He is right there, waiting to feel the touch of your hands. He is lying in wait, delaying time and eternity to receive your cry. Hold on to Him and never let Him go. He is the rope that will never break and the voice that you have longed to hear.