Broken

BROKEN!
By Carla Y. Nix

“And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head.” 
~Mark 14:3 KJV

“To be humble and broken, surrendered to do whatever God asks us to do, to go where He wants us to go, to be used wherever, whenever, and however He so chooses. To give up any right we may think we have to live our lives the way we want to and to yield ourselves to live the way He wants us to: that takes brokenness.”
~ Jeff Malin – On Eagles Wings Blog – www.malinsinoz.blogspot.com

Just the other day, I was lamenting that “I am broke!” Today, I am shouting and rejoicing that “I am BROKEN!”

Being “broke” was only one aspect of the deep despair that I felt as I went through a wave of emotions. I was quickly approaching that rock and hard place in my life. I felt a culmination of “issues” and “circumstances” that totally overwhelmed me. I actually threw my hands up and gave up! Things were not in my control. I could not “see” where I was going, what I was doing, or where I should be. Additionally, I knew what was required of me by others, but I have been feeling unable to fulfill the requests.

None of this may not make sense to me, and frankly, it hasn’t always to me either. But, I have been going through some type of process for months and months now. I have been stretched and torn in different directions mostly because I know that I am not on the path that God has designed for me. In fact, He’s revealed to me through a dream that I should not take the beaten path. The path that He has for me is unbeaten. It’s new for me. It’s not safe. I don’t even know where the path will lead me.

The climatic events of the last few days were a combination of everything that is important to me. Being “broke” financially was part of it. Being so, I truly had to depend on God in a mighty way. Not just talking, but actually doing. Exercising my faith. Doing so, allowed God to work mightily for me. That which I panicked over did not even occur. God worked it all out and once again proved that He is faithful to His Word.

But reaching a point of hysteria, as I did, actually made me surrender! Do you know what it means to surrender? Visualize this…….someone walks up to you with a gun and tells you to give it up! Surrender! Turn it over to them! Put it down! Let it go! Although I have a precious friend who has actually lived this scenario, I haven’t. Yet I know that she did exactly what she was told at that moment. She surrendered precious and sentimental items to save her life. Thank God that the items were later found and returned to her. However, her life was forever changed because of the surrendering experience.

Now, God isn’t holding a gun to my head, but He does have a strong call on my life. I know what it is, but I have been denying and rejecting His bidding simply because I cannot “see” stepping away from my comfort zone and moving on to the work ahead. His call doesn’t seem “practical”, and I am an extremely practical person.

After all of the un-clarity in my mind about His call (………”Uh, Lord, you can’t be serious! How can I do that when I can’t see how the way <financially> is going to be made for me? Are you really leading me down this unbeaten path?……), and after the culmination of events over the last few days…….I actually feel BROKEN now. That’s the only way I can explain it……broken!

It actually is a good feeling. I feel free! My declaration to God today was, “Okay Lord…..I hear you. You have my attention. I am surrendering myself to You.” So, I made the decision to do His Will. My prayer now is that He will show me and tell me when and how to take the first step on the unbeaten path that He has ordained for me.

If you will note the scripture above. The passage has a number of interpretations and significance. What God gave me today regarding the alabaster box is that the precious and expensive perfume (oil) that it contained could not be used until the vial was broken. Although it was argued that the oil could have been sold and used for the poor, and not “wasted” on Jesus, our Lord explained clearly that this woman gave her best to Him. She and others will always have the opportunity to bless the poor.

We have to first give our all, and our best, to the Lord. And what we have is within us and many of us hold on to this expensive perfume. Our vessels (our selves) must be broken to use for the honor and glory of God. We have to surrender……give it up….. Let it go……lay it down.

Do you want to be used by God? If so, are you willing to be broken today? The choice is yours.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Carla Y. Nix © 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Carla Y. Nix is a freelance writer who lives in Crystal Springs, MS. She and her family evacuated there from New Orleans, LA due to Hurricane Katrina in 2005. She is a minister’s wife and a mother of three.

Carla is the founder and director of Sisters4Jesus, an online ministry that supports and provides fellowship for women. She is also founder and CEO of Passion4Life, which provides training, workshops, teleclasses, and public speaking.

Carla is the author of “Walking In Your Purpose”, and “Seven Keys and Affirmations for a Victorious Life”.