Therapy Sessions with Damainion Ewell
In this my third installment of “Therapy Sessions,” I feel it is incumbent on me to acknowledge the greatest person that God has thrust into my life. While my love and worship for Jesus Christ can never be surpassed, the woman that He blessed me with far exceeds any blessing that He has bestowed upon me. I have never experienced a greater enthusiasm or devotion for a person before I met my soul mate. As my emotions meandered to and fro, God’s almighty hand was in the midst, and He planted me square in the center of my ultimate affection.
Sonja was born in 1968, ten years before my birth and a lifetime away from our meeting. I believe with my whole heart that the LORD allowed the wickedness that others imparted into our souls to maneuver us towards each other. As Romans 8:28 (KJV) gallantly proclaims, “and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Our stories are similar, and the pain we have experienced would have destroyed lesser persons. While our tears were separated by years of turmoil and thousands of miles of terrain, the matchless hands of God bottled every drop and rained them upon every crack of our spirit. The culmination of God’s guiding and plodding our souls together came on August 26th, 2000.
We were married on a picturesque cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, as the sun slowly melted away from the midst of our eyes. The sunset beckoned us to be the focal point of the evening, and it catapulted us to the forefront of God’s attention. That day is still unforgettable in my mind, as the LORD conjoined me to the wonderment that I would come to call my wife. I did not deserve her then, and most assuredly, I do not deserve her now.
Sonja captivates my senses in ways no other woman ever could. Her grace defines reason and her beauty becomes more perceptible with each passing day. Just the mere thought of her perfumed entrance into a room or the luster of her emerald green eyes beautifies the muck that is my mind. Whether it is the succulent touch of her lips or the healing faculties of her soft hands, Sonja touches the deepest remnants of the shattered pieces of my puzzled soul and joins it all back together with expert precision. Time and again, I confess that I do not deserve this woman.
I am constantly bewildered why amongst a flock of adoring, established men she would choose a young, foolish and impish man such as me. I came into her life with the clothes on my back and the clothes I had in a suitcase. I had zero life experience and even less love experience. All I knew at the time was that I loved the voice that was on the other end of our few telephone conversations. The all-seeing eyes of God knew the beginning, and He is the author and finisher of not only our faith (Hebrews 12:2), but the longitude and latitude of our love.
Sonja, and all the graciousness she possesses, allowed me to take custody of my little sisters before our wedding day. My mother, in her usual drug-infested stupor, allowed my sisters to drift anywhere they saw fit, and I got the call to come rescue them. With this dilemma and my forthcoming nuptials on the horizon, I had no idea how to handle it all. Without even a notion of hesitation, this woman whom I barely knew instructed me to gain custody of my sisters and bring them back in time for our wedding. Imagine this, if you will: a woman willing to care for two young children that she never even had the opportunity of speaking to beforehand, without question or vacillation. Seven years later, that very notion makes my heart skip a beat.
Although a woman of consistent illness, Sonja loved me enough to give me two of the greatest loves of our lives, D.J. and Shelley-Ann. Giving birth to D.J. was particularly devastating on Sonja’s body, as I witnessed her die in her hospital bed. The LORD mercifully brought her back to us, and she would subsequently share in the opulence of our son’s first breath. Shelley-Ann’s birth was none too pleasant, as she was born premature and the travail of it all took a toll on Sonja’s health. Our children were born one year and four days apart, so there was not much time for recovery. Through it all, she endured so that the gift that I sought would be delivered unto me in good health and with a fresh outlook. I can never thank her enough for suffering through the process.
As my mental state and my indecision fluctuated to no end, Sonja stood by me without any sign of regret. I can freely admit that to this point, I have not been the model husband or knight in shining armor that she boasts of me being. I have dropped the ball on more occasions than I can remember. I have not been the doting husband and helpmeet that God demanded I be. My heart has waned, and my emotions have proliferated from one end of the spectrum to the next. But, through every test and tribulation that was placed before our feet, she endured to the very end. I believe that there is nothing better in this world than a woman that stands in the gap, in spite of the storm that is taking place.
Sonja means the world to me, and so much more. I am the most undeserving husband on the planet, by far. There is not a waking moment that goes by where I don’t recognize how blessed and fortunate I am to have such a warm, caring, talented and superb woman in my corner. She is the brightest star in the nightfall of my heart. She is the key to the gateway of every sentiment that has been mysteriously locked away. I have yet to discover the depth and width of my love for her, but those feelings are between God and my soul. She is more than just my lady and my life partner. She is my friend, my greatest support, and the lover of my entire being.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Damainion Ewell is a well-traveled freelance journalist and a man on a mission. Formerly known in many secular arenas as "The Millennium Writer," Damainion took a God-imposed hiatus from journalism in late 2005 to concentrate on his family and other personal endeavors. Nearly two years later, Damainion is on the brink of his writing comeback, with a singular mission in mind: to glorify the name of Jesus Christ with every word that he writes. Damainion is currently working on two Christian literary offerings and enjoying life with his wife of seven years and their three wonderful children.